“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”  – Thomas Jefferson

Look around.  What do you see?  Do you see lots of people who are strong and lean? People who are brimming with energy? People whose skin is glowing and who are doing work each day that they love?

Nope.

And why is that?

Is it because only a very few people want to be fit, healthy, buzzing with energy and spending their days doing work that makes them feel valuable and fulfilled?

Nope.

There’s only one reason really.

Change is hard.

Too hard for most people.

The other day, someone I admire very much who runs a very successful Boot Camp business posted a short rant on Facebook that got me thinking:

Too many times I’ve heard, “I just want a normal meal plan, something maintainable, like what I currently eat, but that will get me the body I want…you can do that right?”

The answer? No.

Without change, there is no change.

He is so right.

So many people want something different for their lives, but they’re not willing to make the changes necessary to make that happen.

Because change is hard.

Change is uncomfortable.

And most people would literally rather kill themselves slowly than feel uncomfortable. In fact, they make that very choice every day. Several times a day.

The good news is that, while change will always be hard, there are a few ways you can make it easier on yourself:

Plan the work, then work the plan – Don’t embark on any kind of big change without a plan. Set specific, milestone goals along the way, how you’re going to achieve them (be specific), what will you do when you feel like quitting and what supports will you put in place to set yourself up for success?

Focus on the journey, not the goal – When most people set out to change some part of their lives, they build up the goal too much (“When I lose these 20 lbs/quit smoking/stop eating sugar everything in my life will be perfect.”) It’s great to reach a goal you’ve worked hard for, but the journey there can be just as – if not more rewarding.  Be okay with the discomfort along the way, learn from it, grow from it, realize that being uncomfortable doen’t make you die and channel that realization into the courage you need to explore other changes you want to make in your life.

Stop trying to avoid your feelings – Often the bad habits that are holding us back from getting where want to be (zoning out in front of the TV, wallowing in junk food, making wine your best friend) were put in place so that we could avoid feeling feelings that we don’t like feeling (“I hate my job but I can’t see any way out of it,” “my husband barely talks to me any more,” “I’m embarrassed by the way my body looks”).  When you breathe and get quiet and just let yourself feel those feelings head on (scary, I know) then you will be able to start to let go of all those bad habits that you’ve been using to keep them at bay.

Start with why – When things get uncomfortable and you just want to bolt back to your old, comfortable ways, you need to dig deep and cling to your big reason why.  Why do you want to make change? And it can’t be to look hot in a bikini or make your sister jealous.  Those things are fun, but they’re not heavy enough to hold you when the discomfort comes.  Before you embark on change you need to figure out a big, heavy reason why you’re doing this.  Do you want to be an example for your kids?  Do you want to live long enough to enjoy a long and healthy retirement with your wife? Do you want to have the energy to live and appreciate every moment of your life like it matters?  Want to know mine?  While my kids are little, I don’t want them to ever have to watch me get sick and I don’t want them to have to say goodbye to their mom.  Heavy, right? I know. But when I want to give up, that image is what keeps me going.

Change is hard.

But wasting the one life you get feeling numbed out, depressed and angry at yourself for never trying is hard too.

Which hard do you choose?